up and down ~!~

some of the time
i feel confident enough
optimistic enough
positive enough
to push through anything
to look at the world in a more positive light

all my problems seem as if they have disappeared
or, at the very least, are no longer
as big as they had seemed before

and then times come
like tonight
where all of this goes away
and is replaced by overall negativity

apathy
anger
at myself
at others

thoughts of the past consume thoughts of the future
dwelling on what was instead of what could be

living in memories of times missed
no longer active in the present

and i fall in and out of these times
again and again