isolated ~!~

Isolation. The only word I can use to describe this semester so far. Everything, and everyone seems so distant now. Relationships are increasingly fading away. Last semester I was surrounded by people every portion of the day. Now, my suite is empty with no one is squatting with me to occupy the emptiness , and I have few methods of communications to keep in contact with people. When night rolls around I'm left alone with my thoughts, allowing them to flourish, grow and destroy me. I'm beginning to feel less and less like I have people to talk to about my problems, my worries. Every time I start to open up to people I end up telling them too much, become too dependent on having them around to talk to, and they run off, scared. I'm broken, to the point of appearing fragile, and people don't want to hurt me. So they leave. Which hurts more than anything else they possibly could have done. I'm tired of people running away, giving up. I want a person to actually communicate with, one that will actually stick around. Not a person who will be there solely for my happy times, but turn a blind eye the second things begin to go downhill. This isolation, feeling of loneliness, emptiness, is devouring me. I feel like a shell of the girl I was before. Before, I had my crazy moments, my ups and my downs, now I just feel nothing. Existing, I am only existing. A ghost of who I was.