when i'm finally able to obtain what i want
being surrounded by people that care about and understand me
everything seemingly balanced and positive
i feel that shortly i'll ruin it all
destroy everything i had worked so long to acquire
the more comfortable i become with a certain situation
a certain person
community
i find that i subconsciously try to sabotage it all
speckles of my insanity grow in number
until consuming my entity
and driving all the balance and positivity out of my world
leaving nothing for me to start again from
slowly working and building the connections from before
always slightly different than previous ones
but functioning in similar fashions
until i'll ultimately destroy those ones as well
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