cat cat cat ~!~

i really
really
really
want a cat

a cute little fuzzball
to cuddle with at night
and play around with during the day

and watch do cute kitty things

new horizons ~!`

well, i might as well take this time
to shift my focus from one to another

time to play the field
see what else the world has to offer
and enjoy myself guilt free

besides, i don't belong to you
or to him
or anyone
i'm free to do as i want
as are you

one person ~!~

you know when you write those blogs
dedicated to one person

not ever one
multiple entries
weekly
daily

and you realize they never read them?
have no idea what you're thinking
the way your mind is working

how distressed
upset
you actually are

wish you had the guts
the nerve
to tell them what's really going on

and they don't respond
they never do

or when they do
they misinterpret the situation
play it off as something unimportant?
make a joke out of it


a cry for help
and they don't even catch on


my entire summer
but what does it matter?
they haven't caught on yet
they never will
never
will


play it off as a fucking joke
as a light hearted haha
i'm just messing with you


well i'm not
i never was
i opened up
so play it off as one of those
you're taking things to seriously times
and don't listen to what i have to say


i just want someone to talk to
and i can't

winter of 2012 ~!~

if the world ends in 2012
at least i started the last year on earth
in argentina

i've been longing to visit south america
ever since i was a child

i'd rather explore the rain forests
of the south
before ever setting foot
upon european soil

exotic
mysterious
beautiful

first stop, argentina
winter of 2012
i'll take it from there

where to next?
the cloud forests of chile?
a trek through the atacama desert
an adventure through the amazon

a year and a half more to go
and already i cannot stop thinking about it

empty ~!~

don't let what you wish for at the moment
ruin your goals for the future

one thought
above all else
preoccupies my mind at the moment

the pain
i'll be enduring
physically and mentally
these next few months
will all be worth it
in the end

it succeeded back then
it will succeed now

structure ~!~

  fuck        structure
      planahead
                      plan a    head
     my ass
chaos
        spon
tanity

live a
        l
         i
          t
            t
              l
               e
  livealot
                each daysyour  l  a  s  t
        as they
s    a     y

don't
                  focus
                 on
                               the
       past
live in themoment
     the pre
               sent

    the       reality
        only
that exists
                  is
                      the
               here
        and
     n
  o
w

fuckstructure

       color in
             the _____'s
    ?
color
    |
    | outside
    | the
    | fuckin'
    | lines

distract ~!~

distract
distract
distract

i feel as if it's all i've been doing lately
distracting myself from my thoughts
the ones that keep me up all hours of the night
the ones that make me question myself
those around me
this world

distract
distract
distract

how much longer can i keep this up?