thin is in

i don't recall a time in my life where i was comfortable with my body
back in elementary school i'd compare my body to the other girls in class
and always felt fat compared to the stick thin girls
while i witnessed all the other girls shoot up and slim down i remained the same
same height, same weight
i always loved the frailty of thin girls
the jagged knees and elbows
the protruding hip and collar bones
i wanted to lose that "bubble butt" my mom always joked i had
i never wanted to grow boobs
never wanted to have larger hips
while some girls longed to have womanly curves i wanted to remain curveless
back in junior year i was on my way to where i longed to be
i noticed a space growing in between my thighs
my hips bones and ribs were exposed in ways they never had been before
my pants size dropped down to almost a 00
and i finally got below the 100 mark

i miss those days
i tell myself everyday that my body is perfect as it is
i weigh the right amount, have all the right curves
yet no matter how much i tell myself this, i never believe the words i say